Greeting Card Poems

    Twas the night before Christmas it was full of good cheer Because the end of the lockdown was finally here. So what has happened since October 8 Freedom regained, no need to isolate  No time for fears, nighttime’s for slumber No need to worry about tomorrow’s daily number No need to hide out alone in your room Spending all day on a computer to zoom No time for our hair to be unkempt and wild We can go to the hairdresser for a cut, colour and style.  Finally, far and wide we can roam And more than five visitors we can have in our home So the family are coming over there’s a party to host With turkey and ham and a succulent pork roast  The children were awake, bolt upright in bed They’d been asleep half the day, their eyes bloodshot red As a result of the pandemic they’d become so alone Staying up all night on tablets and phone But up at the North pole things weren’t  getting better Because of  corona Santa was getting fewer letters  And because...

 'Twas the week before Christmas and at preschool  Not a pupil was silent, no matter what rule.  The children were busy with paper and paste;  The mess that they made with it couldn't be faced.  The teacher half frantic and almost in tears,  Had just settled down to work with her dears,  When out in the hall there arose such a clatter  up sprang the kids to see what was the matter! Away to the door they all flew like a flash;  The one who was leading went down with a crash.  Then what to their wondering eyes did appear  But a green Christmas tree! (To decorate I fear!) When the teacher saw this, she thought who had been lumbered It can’t be Ol’ Rab, because his days had been numbered More rapid than reindeer The little ones came, And the teachers all shouted and called them by name;; "Now Aarah! Now Sandy, Now Dinesh and Vihaan!  Stop Deepak! Stop Lakshmi! Stop Arnav and Rishaan!  Now get to your places get away from the h...

 ‘Twas the night before Christmas while down in the ring Not a wrestler was stirring not even the Sting  The crowds had all emptied the grounds and the stadium  From Maddison Square Garden to the London Palladium  The fans were all happy and snug in their beds While visions of title fights danced in their heads They’d spent all that day on an eBay search Looking to find all kinds of Wrestling merch  Then out on the lawn there arose such a clatter  I sprung to the window to see what was the matter  There what on earth do you think there could be  A man in a striped shirt must be a referee. With Rollins in action and Kane in his mask Keeping McMahon happy was no easy task. And long before Strowman screams “Rooaarrrr” or “I’m not finished with you” Hayman didn’t care about Xmas because he is a Jew.  And Bobby Roode  was there and he was “Glorious “ He won’t give in no he won’t give in until he’s Victorious  And Booker T says can you di...

 "Twas the night before Christmas and perched on his bed Was Norman the retriever awaiting Santa and sled His leash was hung, by his kennel with care, In hopes that St. Bernard soon would be there  This year had been hard and wasn’t much fun Especially since his mate Donut had gone But his life was looking better now and things were on the up Now he’s had some a new playmate Luna the pup Luna was a livewire that kept him on his toes Jumping at his tail and biting his nose But Norman soon settled his dreams were aflutter  Like when Lucas coated the railing with peanut buter When outside on the lawn there arose such a clatter, His ears perked right up to hear what was the matter. Away to the railing he jumped up with glee, And barked at the shadows that were cast by a tree. The glow from the moon changed night into day, And started him thinking,"woof woof time to play!" When, what with his puppy-dog eyes did he see, But a splendid dog sled, led by doggies like he. With a r...

‘Twas four nights before Christmas, and all through the mall, Not a creature was stirring, the crowds were so small! The decorations were hung ’round the galleria with care, In hopes that some shoppers soon would be there. But unlike the ghosts of Christmases past, The shops were all empty, the clerks looked downcast. No bustle! No shoppers! No last-second buyer! No families or children! The scene was quite dire. So I strolled from the food court (I don’t need to get fatter), And went to investigate to see what was the matter. In the first store, I asked for the size that is mine, “We don’t carry that here, you must shop online!” In the next place, I struggled to roam through the store, To maximize density, they’d crammed in more. More! So crowded and cramped, they’d packed all the aisles, That trying to get through was more like a trial. The next store was empty, no clerk could be found, The place was in chaos, with clothes in a mound. Employees were chatting, their duties neglected, ...

Twas the day before Christmas and all the stores were quite hoppin'    They waited until the last minute  to finish their gift shoppin'    There was pushing and shoving  and grabbing for things    From sweaters and dishes  to big diamond rings    The crowds were just buying  all the stuff at the mall    They just had to buy presents  they had to have them all    I kept walking and looking at the stuff on display    I couldn't wait any longer for today was the last day    As I went by the window a gift caught my eye    I knew exactly what to get and it was time for me to buy    As I went for the present a lady did speak    "I saw it first.  I saw it last week!"    I was angry and upset  as I began to glare    At this mean old lady with silver white hair    I shouted and yelled and called her some names:   ...

 Twas the night before Christmas at Merrylands West, And all of us seniors were looking our best. Our glasses, how sparkly, our wrinkles, how merry; The punchbowl held prune juice plus three drops of sherry. We surely were lucky to be there with friends, Secure in our residences and in our Depends. Brian and Eileen had arrived finally there Without any grandkids in tow they had no cares And Roy and Dianne were also doing fine They happened to bring Rod along for the ride But what had become of Bob and Kay They were nowhere to be found they were MIA They were all ready for some sumptuous Christmas grub. Not some ordinary food at the Cumberland Golf Club Our supper so festive -- the joy wouldn't stop. 'Twas creamy warm oatmeal with sprinkles on top. Our salad was jelly, so jiggly and great, Then puree of fruitcake was spooned on each plate. Then sight impaired Pam had us play games, Like "Where Are You Living?" and "What Are Your Names?” Our resident wanderer was t...

 'Twas two months before Christmas and Santa was getting ready  But at his age and size he was a little unsteady  But Santa wasn’t well, he was laid up in bed His cheeks were glowing,  his nose was red He couldn’t speak,  his throat was hoarse  All he could  do was communicate by morse  He’d caught it from an errant elf, he was livid He’d finally caught the dreaded covid Mrs Claus was applying ice round his head. And popped him paracetomol propped up in bed    "No, dear," said she, "You must stay till you're well."  "What about Christmas?!" I rang like a bell! If I can’t deliver presents he said with a yelp I’m going to need some extra special help Santa spread the word without his usual banter He was unwell and would nèed some Secret Santa’s Gail heeded the call, I’ll do as you ask Though I know it’s an incredible task So she set to work and made an invitation  Emailed it to the family with great expectation Nominate three pre...

 'Twas the night before Christmas, when all ‘round Medowie  The house was all ready with gardens neat an flowery     Without a sign stuck in the lawn was rare,    How would the buyers know the house was there        The Realtors at open house had all been fed,    While visions of commissions danced in their heads;    But the first buyer who saw the house on a map,    Had between what he had and the list price a gap.         I thought the appraiser might value too low,    I'm just a Realtor - what do I know?    When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,    But an acceptable contract and a lender no fear.        With a termite inspector so thorough and quick,    I knew in a moment, I wouldn't be sick.    More home inspections that all sound the same,    We whistled and shouted and called them by na...

 Twas the night before Xmas and all was on hold Because political correctness had reached the North Pole All the work had stopped on the factory floor Because Santa had breached an OH&S law And before Santa had the chance to call his lawyer He had become an equal opportunity employer So now in the workshop at his North Pole home Santa employs dwarves, sprites and gnome And now the factory floor will feature Every imaginable fairy-tale creature Working so hard, side by side with the elves Working real hard to fill the warehouse shelves. So Santa’s helpers are now of all sorts In the Vertically Challenged Union, VCU for short. They’ve become organised and have representation Helping them out with award negotiations They’re now ready to slap on work bans Or slowing their work if Santa doesn’t meet their demands But what are their demands what do they seek Superannuation and a 38 hour week Public Holidays are optional and paid at overtime Anything less would be an IR crime At Santa...

T’was the day before Christmas, but there was no cheer. No jingle bells jingled, no sound of reindeer. The word had gone out that Santa was sick. There would be no visit from jolly St. Nick. The people were sad; no gaiety sounded. For Christmas had come, but Santa was grounded. He drove down the road, and what should he see? But a sign for a doctor, who was a GP. Now Santa was not one to like a new tactic, But all else had failed, so he tried something Osteopathic. He entered the office and saw at a glance, In a place such as this, illness hasn’t a chance. The office staff smiled, the music was sappy, With all of the patients contented and happy. In a very short time, to judge by the clock, He was in the adjusting room, talking to Doc. It must be the hurry, the tension and all I simply can’t seem to get on the ball. Life used to be easy; just kids, toys and whistles, Now I dodge smog, spaceships and missiles. And Doc, take a look at the size of this pack! Have you any idea what it does...

‘Twas the month before Christmas and there was no snappy banter Robyn was in a whirl because she hadn’t done secret Santa She’d had grand plans of getting it in early But now her plans were dashed she was getting quite surly There were pillows, lamps and griddle to be sought Even if given , extras would still need to be bought And so at last the secret Santa was finished The shopping for the family was still not diminished  The weeks had slipped by her ,her time she had squandered, The pressure now on, she surfed and she pondered, She needed some presents, and needed them quick, Else she'd look like the Grinch instead of St. Nick. Her brain getting soggy her hopes getting dim, It looked like the Grinches were going to win, When what to her wandering cursor appeared, But the mother of all Web sites! (She let out a cheer!) There were gifts of all sizes and shapes there before And with a click of her mouse, she opened the door. On Amazon! On Bunnings ! On Target she adores. On Barnes ...

Twas the night before Christmas, and as was their habit, Not a creature was stirring  except for Lola the  Rabbit! The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, And this little bunny wondered how a person could get up there. When out on the lawn there came such a crash! and bang! and such; that it sounded like someone had knocked over the hutch! Under the shed the rabbit zig-zagged, then sped straighter Because all bunnies hide first, and investigate later. Norman and Donut slept, they just didn’t stir Lola couldn’t believe what kind of protectors they were Then what to her curious eyes should appear, but a tiny sleigh and eight little reindeer! I hope they don’t eat my hay! The bunny said not quite aloud; Should I thump on the floor, or just watch this crowd? Then a little man, all dressed in red Called the deer by name, and this is what he said: "On Dasher, On Dancer.." and there were a few more But the bunny just found all that a bore. Who this man was, the bunny hadn’...

 ‘twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, Every creature was thirsty, including the mouse... The steins were empty, and the bottles were too The beer had been drunk with no time to brew. My family was nestled all snug in their beds While visions of Christmas Ale foamed in their heads. Laying awake I lamented the drought, My wife craved a pilsner and I, a stout. When out on the lawn, there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my chair to see what was the matter. Away to the kitchen, I flew like a flash, Opening the door with a loud bang and crash! I threw on the switch and the lights, all aglow, Gave a lustre of mid-day to the brew-pot below. When, what to my wondering eyes should appear But Dionysis himself, the patron of beer. With a look in his eye, so lively and quick, He said, "You want beer? Well, here, take your pick." More rapid than eagles, his recipes came As he whistled and shouted and called them by name. "Now, Pilsener! Now, Porter! Now, St...

Twas a gaming night before Christmas in the Xbox land I was clicking away with their joysticks in hand Controllers were held tightly and buttons pressed with care  Trying to respawn but the enemy was there While others were nestled all snug in their beds  I was fighting zombies joyously blowing off their heads  Battling with demons leaving bodies in a heap When the world is at stake how can you sleep. Online I was fighting on RDR2 While others were playing Call of Duty too. Out of my Logitech speakers there comes bone crunching clatter I sprung from my chair, it really does matter But time was tight no time for goodbye or hello I was busy playing Destiny and Halo. The moon shines down beams of light, on perfect HDR snow Giving me dynamic colours as I head toward objects aglow. When out of my phone there arouse such a clatter, I checked on my messages to see what was the matter, My phone was blowing up, I was blinded by the flash, I fell on the floor and got a small gash, ...

‘Twas the week before Christmas, when all through the news, There were reports of record drought, so many were confused. Told global warming is why we should care, And that the point of no return would soon be here. The children were bombarded with tales of dread, While visions of climate disasters were stuck in their head. When suddenly in the data there arose such a clatter, As Alan Jones said, what could be the matter? The LNP stopped, as quick as a flash, Allowed police the power to bash Climate change warriors with whom they clash, Far too often there were temperatures of 40 or above Been too long since we’ve seen the rain we love And, what to my wondering eye there appears, But SCOMO and McCormick, and it’s more than we can bear. With a little misinformation from warped science and lo, I was persuaded it had to be so. Howling like rabid dogs fearing the shame, Climate change pushers called skeptics many a name! “Now, Denier! now, madman! now neanderthal, you’re lying! You’re an i...

Twas the night before Grand Final and all through the land People were getting nervous except for Tigers fans.   The cheerleaders had practiced all year for this day In hopes that the premiership in their hands would stay   The players were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of tries danced in their heads.   And Benji   in his boxers and Madge in his cap, Had just settled their brains for a much needed nap.   When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.   Away to the window I flew like a flash, Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.   The moon on the breast of the new-fallen night Gave the lustre of mid-day to the cheerleaders flight   When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, The Coach had the cheerleaders still practicing here.   With a team of young ladies so lively and quick, Tumbling and jumping that looked reall...

‘Twas A Hard Days Night before Yule But things weren’t as it seems in Old Liverpool  Yes, Mr Moonlight had come and  fled. The fans were lying awake in their beds, For the boys were on a journey, A Magical Mystery Tour Without saying Hello, Goodbye from this talented Fab Four Travelling all over in this magical psychedelic bus With John, Paul, George and Ringo and the Walrus When off in the distance there came a strange noise         — Was Santa arriving at last with their toys? Those surely weren't sleigh bells they heard from afar, It sounded like drums — and electric guitars. Now up in the sky, as the music drew near Who could we see, who would appear But the Beatles and into the house they were creeping While the children all snug in their beds were Only Sleeping  And out from the windows strange voices were in song Which sung to each child that It Won’t Be Long. "Now, Maxwell! Now, Martha! Now, Prudence and Pepper! On, Sun King! On, Sadie! On...

‘Twas the night before basketball and down at the Target Center Was a young Wolves fan just waiting to enter The custodians were busy sweeping the floors When one saw the figure huddled by the doors “What are you doing here? You gave me a fright  The games don’t start until tomorrow night!” “I’ve got basketball fever, I just can’t wait.”    The young fan explained, “I didn’t want to be late.” Then he told of his devotion to the Wolves of Minnesota   And how he yearned to see the players complete their quota With all the pride and excitement he c could foster He told of the new 2023 roster. Anthony Edwards and Rudi Gobert The KAT and d'angello a formidable pair Jayden McDaniels and center Naz Reid Who else would they need But don’t listen to the trolls and wowsers They’re not scoring many baskets but building lots of houses The players were resting at home in their beds.  While thoughts of play offs danced in their heads. The cheerleaders dreamed of leading ...

'Twas the shift before Christmas and all through the bar,   Not a patron was standing; they all were ajar.     The time cards were hung by the time clock with care,   In hopes that we'd soon get the Hell out of there.     No night to be working, we had places to be.   Wives, husbands, and loved ones, our families to see.     Perhaps we'd close early; business was slow.   Why were they still here?  Why didn't they go?     At last the bar folk started emptying out,   To everyone working here was little doubt;     The shift nearly over, it was time to go.   Shinaka had the key ready, the CLOSED sign in tow.     When out in the parking lot, there arose such a clatter.   I sprang from the bar to see what was the matter.     We looked at each other; it couldn't be true,   In walked all the bad tippers we ever knew.     A long line of them led by Kel and the Locals, ...