Shopping Mall Night Before Christmas

‘Twas four nights before Christmas, and all through the mall,
Not a creature was stirring, the crowds were so small!

The decorations were hung ’round the galleria with care,
In hopes that some shoppers soon would be there.

But unlike the ghosts of Christmases past,
The shops were all empty, the clerks looked downcast.

No bustle! No shoppers! No last-second buyer!
No families or children! The scene was quite dire.

So I strolled from the food court (I don’t need to get fatter),
And went to investigate to see what was the matter.

In the first store, I asked for the size that is mine,
“We don’t carry that here, you must shop online!”

In the next place, I struggled to roam through the store,
To maximize density, they’d crammed in more. More!

So crowded and cramped, they’d packed all the aisles,
That trying to get through was more like a trial.

The next store was empty, no clerk could be found,
The place was in chaos, with clothes in a mound.

Employees were chatting, their duties neglected,
Under a sign that proclaimed “Satisfaction’s our objective!”

In that moment, so dispirited and glum,
I was visited by the spirit of Christmas Yet to Come,

“This mall will be shuttered,” he uttered upset
Time to go home start surfing the net

The weeks had slipped by me, my time I had squandered,
The pressure now on, I surfed and I pondered,

I  needed some presents, and I needed them quick,
Else I'd look like the Grinch instead of St. Nick.

My brain getting soggy my hopes getting dim,
It looked like the Grinches were going to win,

When what to my wandering cursor appeared,
But the mother of all Web sites! (I let out a cheer!)

There were toys of all sizes and shapes there before
And with a click of my mouse, I opened the door.

On Amazon! On Kogan Myer I adore.
On Target and Kmart or it’s Ebay and more

I strolled through the aisles and virtual shelves,
Toys flew to my shopping cart as if placed there by elves.

Every toy I could imagine was there at my touch
(And maybe I ordered just a little too much.)

Then I moved to the checkout, I was now feeling fine,
Isn't this wonderful? No standing in line!

I got them all shipped before it was too late.
Overnighted to me! (Ain't Australia Post great?)

The presents now ordered, my credit card maxed
I can sip on some port, and try to relax.

And ‘til January comes, with its bills out of sight
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good midnight.